Monday, March 12, 2012

Getting the dust off the bottles

Am I the first to tell you about our trip?  Wait let me go check the fuckers blogs to be sure...

Why yes, yes I am.  MWUAHAHAHA.

There were a couple birthday's in the Royal family recently, and to protect our asses we won't be naming any names.  Probably because the Queen herself said 'Bitches, it is law that you cannot age.  It means I will age, and I fucking refuse.  No birthdays in this Queendom!'.  We bowed down, said yes your majesty and ran away to switch out her liquor with water and tea to get back to our corner to earn some cash.

Then she declared, we need a new trip, she's bored and for the love of all things holy, FIND NEW TRANSPORTATION.  Well we all looked at each other and said fuck a duck..which the duck squealed with glee until she realized we were exclaiming not promising.  With what money?  We all just spent our monthly stipend on shoes, bags and new wigs for our nightly strip tease.

I would like to take credit for coming up with an amazeballs idea to help with our cash flow.  Boob jobs.

BOOB jobs my friend.  You see, you can use a boob job as a tax write off.  Did you know this shit and withhold it from us?  Why didn't anyone tell us this before?!  So I called up Princess Vet, as she knows those amazing surgeons in the Hollywood Hills, we did a few BJ's, lapdances and one of us may have begged shamed herself with some anal and voila, boob jobs all around.  Even the Queen, was gleefully begging strangers on the street to feel her new accessories.

Go ahead and touch em, they feelz so real!

So with our new beautiful chi-chi's filling out our tops to bursting, tips started coming in wicked fast, it was like watching mushrooms popping up in a meadow...

Our jars quickly filled up and low and behold, we had money for a trip.

Now the problem was, where the hell do we go?  And most importantly, are we barred from returning again?  That's when, another brilliant idea popped up.  We can get around those rules, we can visit and see whatever and where ever we want, with a simple change of transportation...

Look up, bitches!


  1. OMG I love it. But pleaase please please,, supply my ballon with barf bags.. I am afraid of heights. you better let me have my own balloon.. with a wicked as bar... that's all I have to say about this trip..

  2. I'm so glad that we now have the royal balloon. And I would like to thank you for the new boobage.