On a hunt for duct tape and brownies...

to shut these bitches up and keep 'em still.

The Queen has been forced into detox is taking a little vacation and the whores are on a rampage.  It's like 'Mama's gone we can go apeshit now' to these twats.

We have holes in the windows, in the walls, chairs are missing the legs, and the stripper pole has some poor John strapped to it with bras.

I called Betty Ford clinic this morning but was told sweetly by the receptionist that Her Majesty is not taking calls, she didn't see the severity in our predicament...I was left on my own.

In the three second phone call, the girls came up with a plan, or so I'm guessing as that was the only time they had been quiet all night and morning.  The next thing I know PWT and Princess Vet are singing at the top of their lungs "Free Balling".  

I don't think Tom Petty would have complained that they changed the lyrics to his song, and the John's sure as hell didn't.

Every time I grabbed one of them, the others would get into mischief, most especially running away with booze

Once they lost their clothes, I was a bit afraid of where they planned on sticking those bottles.  But then I found where they ran off to, and sighed with relief...until I looked closer

No one will fess up and admit whose idea it was to fill the tub with beer and make their own personal cocktail.  More pointed fingers at Duchess though...All I know is, the Johns were snapping at each other and begging for a drink.

Things calmed down a little after that and I left the girls to tend bar.  Hey we need money, these ho's aren't cheap.  I noticed little by little the men and women were leaving to the back where the stripper pole and the pool tables were. I figured it was about time I checked on the Royals to see what they were doing...

You know the kissing booth at the fair?  This was the fucking booth in the bar.  Each of the Royals had their table and the men were lined up with their wads ready.  I have to give it to them, this was a clever money maker and we may have this as a regular entertainment here at Titty Whiskers.

When I got back to the bar, I had my own line starting.  I shrugged, it's all for business after all.  

Some were even hidden behind the bar and scared me to death when I went back there to change into my stilletos.  You know, costume and all.  No one would move so I had to kick and pull some hair to get to my shoe stash, that's really when all hell broke loose

I'm a good hooker, but I have never had that many penis' shoved in my face in my life.  The Royal girls got jealous and jumped us, wanting their attention too.  Turns out, they'd had too much and couldn't keep up... and I was left to take care of the rest...oh the tragedy.

You know come to think of it...I think we may use the duct tape and brownies for other purposes....

Cheers bitches