Monday, January 2, 2012

The aftermath

The bar was trashed after our New Year's Eve party.  There was shirts, jeans and one leg of pantyhose hanging from the lights and panties shoved in the pockets of the pool tables.  I found earrings in our pretzel bowls and a red high heel shoe in the ice machine.  Chairs were all lined up in a row that stretched the length of the bar and random articles of clothing littered the floor around them.  

I've heard there are a few busted lips among the Royals, no one remembers how it happened.

I have a hickeys all over my body, and a nipple ring has suddenly sprouted from right nipple...there's rumers that the brownies were spiked with something extra special....

The Queen walked out of the bar topless and screaming 'Down with bloody Red Queen'.
Something gooey was smeared all over the stripper pole.  Have you ever cleaned one of those mother fuckers?  Whatever was on it was not easy to get off.  Luckily I wore my hazmat suit to prevent me from catching anything from these whores as I slid up and down the pole.  Hey it's the best way to clean it shut your pie hole.

There isn't a drop of alcohol in the bar....these bitches are leaches when it comes to booze!
Someone wrote 'Cunt Blisters and Middle Finger are going down!' on the back wall in blood red finger nail polish.

Oh and the lava lamps are empty, all 20 of them....

As I clean up this fucking mess and order more gods damned booze, I can't help but grin.  The Royal's sure can party.



  1. What was that whole Ardvark thingy about? Holy God I still have a headache.

    I thought those lava lamp drinks were awesome, but they were a bitch to open! We need a new bottle opener in the bar.. I think it broke when Dutchess and I were opening that last Lava Lamp. Damn cheap Walmart shit!

    I had a blast according to my facebook. I'm glad I documented all that... lol..

    by the way, I'm missing a few press on fingernails. You may want to double check the ice machine before you open the club up again..

    Thanks for a great time!

  2. Oh good hell. You won't believe what I learned. But you will have to wait.

    And yes, please clean out the ice machine. I don't want to be having one of those damn press on nails stuck in my throat.

  3. Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude!!
    Why do I remember the gators being at the party??? Was I that drunk? Cause I am pretty sure I made it clear that after they ate that wealthy John at the last shindig they were no longer to be invited!!
    I'm gonna figure out who crossed me and feed them the Queen's fingernails... they aren't in the ice machine, they are in the Princess formerly known as CB's ass.